I took a photography class that absolutely KILLED my interest in photography. Right before finals week, my camera--which I also use for my film projects in school--died. It was just a pretty crappy, frustrating time for me. I get my repaired camera back in September, and I hope by then I've managed to shake this disheartened feeling I have.

The professor would grade without explaining what could be improved, and after a few A's on projects, I started to get low B's with no comments as to how I could improve. That wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't also just a chaotic, incredibly stressful class. There's a lot more to it, but I just really wish I'd been groomed on my technique. That was what I was IN the class for, and I ended up just fumbling in the dark and trying to figure out why I wasn't good enough. I never once got any feedback on how my photos could get back up to A standards in her eyes. However, she did praise me on the last day in front of the class for sticking with it after my camera had broken during my final project, etc. I know she's not a mean person, she just isn't quite the teacher for me.

But now I just feel sort of defeated. Before the class, I'd been desperate to figure out what could be improved in my photos, how to get the kind of amazing shots I see from people who have been doing it for years. In the end, I didn't learn a thing about how I could improve personally, and I ended up with the sense that I'm just not cut out for photography, that some people have an eye for it, and some people don't.

I hope one day I get back my passion for photography. It used to make me so happy. I'm not entirely sure when that started to change, but I know that this class was a mistake. Plus, it was my first B at this school, and that sucks. Guess it could have been worse, though. I just wish I hadn't left this class, a class that was meant to teach me and help me get better at photography, feeling so insecure and lacking in confidence. Oh well.